"If you can think, speak and write, you are absolutely deadly, nothing can get in your way" ~ Jordan Peterson
We are living in a society where it takes 7 generations for a family to get out of poverty1. Who gives a damn about thinking for yourself, when you don't have food on the table. But if you are reading this, I assume you have someone, if not you, already figured it out for you. Congratulations on that, first of all. Now, let's get into the piece:
To do something impactful enough in your life, you have to constantly break the molds. Of course, to be cast in society's molds is an individuals' destiny. But anyone can choose to break the mold at any point in their life. Breaking the family legacy of becoming a doctor by pursuing your interest in music. If you are a woman, then for example breaking the mold of patriarchy in your family, if there is one. All the molds can be broken. It's not that hard but it all starts with an individual's thinking. Sadly, we are taught NOT to think as an individual.
Individuality is killed in our society in any way possible. We were taught to not take decisions for ourselves. To always rely on authority to make decisions for us. No matter how much influence that decision has on your life, it cannot be taken by you. Most evident are career decisions. In our education system, you literally have options less than fingers on your one hand. Rarely, some people come out of the bubble at an early age to make decisions for themself. Either you must have the financial freedom or open-minded parents to do that.
This is a slippery slope. I am obviously not suggesting to give 9yo keys to a car and let them take a decision for driving it or not. Okay, bad example but looks like it is hard for people to realize that at some point, they have to give control of their life to the individual themself. Let them make some decisions for themself. Don't take full autonomy, neither give it to them. But let them be aware of the fact that they have freedom. That will eventually reflect in their self-confidence. Freedom helps them in dealing with fear & insecurities.
Also, I am not saying to outright reject the authority. It is important for our day-to-day decision-making and functioning to rely on authority. Human brain's capacity is limited; we have to delegate some decisions. Most sane people have some sort of dominance to leave their decision to, in the sense of mythology or authority. They already got this rule book to live by and that is good to have, otherwise it's just going to be chaos. But it gets complicated when they try to, knowingly or unknowingly, force those ideas upon others.
Napolean Hill once said, "The number one reason people fail in life is because they listen to their family, friends, and neighbors." I surely don't understand what was his context almost 100 years ago. But how I interpret this is that: we all have a goal, you have and I have it too. My goal could be the most absurd thing to you, but it is my goal and I should not give a damn about what do you think about it. But well, it is psychologically impossible to operate without feedback. And it is your environment's responsibility to provide you that feedback. And what is the environment in almost all the cases? Our family, friends, and neighbors. You are surrounded by them almost every time. That is your environment. It is impossible to not be affected by their feedback. Now if everyone in your family is saying that your goal is impossible and rather you should do X. Most would do X and that's what Hill calls failing, in the sense, losing your aspiration for people around you.
But what does it takes to stand up for yourself, for your goal when your day-to-day living depends upon people who do not support you? In one word: conviction. You should have enough conviction about your goal. Which comes through repetition, in action. You can't watch football and then tell everyone that you want to play in LaLiga. You have to get yourself to the ground, bleed and drop sweat. No matter how cliche it sounds, it is the truth. You have to first convince yourself that you are competent enough to achieve that goal you have set for yourself. Before taking others on a journey with you. But the problem that arises for most young folks is that we are not even clear right now, what do we want. The problem is not taking action on my passion, but rather a clarity for observing that spark in oneself.
'Explore your interest' is a tricky piece of advice. Because when you know that it takes 7 generations in India, to get a family out of poverty, you can't be taking a 4-year sabbatical to work on your novel or to study greek mythology or something. Formal education would be your best and easiest option to live a happy life, no doubt about that. Afterward, you can explore, just like most do. But for you, as we discussed in the starting, you already have some bandwidth to explore. The problem is to learn to think for yourself, right? What can I explore? I don’t want to do what I am doing right now but what else? Till now we have just been studying for the entrance exam with no interest. To study for college, where everyone wants to go, not where my interest is. Eventually to study the field colleges and other people forced me to study. A number of people stuck in this loop right now, says a lot about the individual's ability to stand up for themselves in our society. It could be solved easily with just an individual's thinking. To change that you have to start to consume. Yes, consume.
Read, listen and watch the best people in your field. By field here, I mean anything you have an interest in or want to explore. Before practical & experimental learning, observational learning should take place. That helps you to avoid potential mistakes and learn from the best in that space. Study what made them best, understanding their mindset. We have enough time to later find our own 'voice' and stuff. But right now get as many perspectives as you can. You don't have to be a master of that field, but give it your best shot. Again, I am not talking about mindlessly scrolling on social media to consume content. You know where to find it, make effort.
Once consuming is done or rather while consuming, write. We all know how writing brings clarity to your thinking. Writing is meditation for unsettling ones. Again quoting Jordan Peterson, "writing is a powerful weapon you can possibly provide someone with". Because it gives the ability to think clearly. When a person thinks clearly, they can take action and convince others about their vision to join in in their journey. Human mind gain clarity through conversations and writing is your conversation with yourself. For example, you are pretty young and have a goal to start a business. Firstly, you have to convince your parents or someone about your goal. But you won't be able to convince anyone if you are not clear about the goal yourself. That’s where writing comes to the rescue. It gives you clarity, which brings you conviction.
And once you have enough conviction, you’re unstoppable.
Thanks a ton to Dig for providing feedback, honest thoughts, and improvements on drafts of this.
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/08/moving-up-the-income-ladder-takes-generations-how-many-depends-on-where-you-live/